Podcast - 4 Keys To Happiness & Lasting Fulfilment

Here I want to share a short message about fulfilment and happiness, because it is the holy grail of why we’re here on this planet.

As Don Tolman used to say, “Pleasure is the greatest good”.  In other words, you and I are meant to be happy – life is meant to be pleasurable, joyful and fulfilling, but the problem is we can easily lose sight of this throughout everyday life and particularly when things don’t go our way and over the course of time as we reach cross-roads points in our life.

We know that fulfillment and joy is an area where many people struggle because the latest statistics tell us that depression affects more than 300 million people around the world, and it impacts at least 1 in 5 Australians.

Firstly, I believe that a lot of this has to do with trap that many people fall into throughout life – and it’s not their fault – it’s more a societal driven problem.  And that is people fall into the illusion of happiness. 

Now what do I mean by that?

What I mean is that happiness and joy are contingent on two main things for many people  –

1.        People are happy for as long as they are progressing through the various stages of life

2.        People are happy for as long as things are going their way.

And if we take progress for example, it’s not hard to realise why many people end up unhappy in their middle phases of life once they have achieved many progressive milestones in their life.

Think about it…

Whether it be graduating from school, higher education, landing your first job, forging a career, getting married, having kids, buying your first home, achieving a personal goal, financial freedom – all of these things are mini milestones or progressions of life that most people strive towards and accomplish but they still arrive at a place where they’re not happy. 

It's because fulfilment is different from accomplishment and success.

Success is a science that can be worked towards and achieved. 

But fulfilment is an artform that requires emotional fitness and is a lifelong process.

And this why many people suffer – because they have not mastered the art of fulfilment and emotional fitness and wellbeing.

The ability to look inward and find joy and happiness as an emotional state, no matter life throws up. And this requires a basic foundational skillset and ongoing consciousness and self awareness to have as a tool for life long happiness.

1. Gratitude  – I know this is a word and topic that gets thrown around a lot in the personal development and holistic wellness space, and it’s because it really is a cornerstone to emotional fitness and wellbeing because gratitude is the antidote to just about every negative emotion you can imagine – anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, rejection, jealousy and self-criticism to name a few.

It is very difficult to be grateful for what you have and fearful or angry or lonely at the same time.

Life is full of so many twists, turns, ups and downs that without emotional fitness and gratitude, it can be very easy to focus on what’s wrong, to make the challenge bigger than it actually is, to give too much energy to the problem rather than the solution. 

So gratitude is a powerful tool – focussing on all that is good in your life, where you live, the air you breathe, the community you have access to, all that you have accomplished, the experiences – and the fact that you are still alive and kicking and have the rest of your life ahead of you to take control of physically, mentally and emotionally – this is what gratitude is all about.

Remember, what’s wrong is always available but so is what’s right, as Tony Robbins always says.

And so, take a few minutes each day either first thing in the morning or last thing before you go to bed, to just turn your attention to 2 or 3 things in your life that you can be truly grateful for right now.  And realise that so long as you are alive with a beating heart and a positive outlook on life, you are winning – particularly if you live in an amazing free and safe country like Australia.

2. Invest In Quality Relationships – relationships are really the lifeblood of happiness and joy, because they give you a sense of belonging, love and connection…and they’re also crucial in most commercial transactions, businesses and career paths. 

But the thing is you need to put the work into quality relationships that add value to your life.  In other words, the more you give in a relationship, the more you get.  But if you show up to a relationship only expecting to get something without giving first, chances are you’ll end up disillusioned, disappointed and that relationship will be short-lived and won’t add long term value to your life.

So, you need to invest in quality relationships to get the return.

And probably the most potent and relationship you will ever experience in your life, is that which you’ll have with your spouse, significant other or intimate partner.  And this is where you need to invest the most – and I can say that from the experience of 25 years of marriage. 

An intimate relationship is the relationship that will bring you the most joy or pain that you’ll experience in your lifetime.  And this is testament to why we crave intimacy and energising, uplifting intimate relationships so much – when it’s amazing, we feel worthy, loved, energised and fulfilled.  And when it’s broken, we feel completely fragmented, disillusioned, betrayed, distant and inward focussed.  And the quality of that relationship can have a ripple effect on every other aspect of your life – your business, your social connections, your finances, your physical body – everything.

So when it comes to your any relationship – have the mindset of showing up, bringing the best of you, putting the needs of the other first – invest first in that relationship and you will reap the long term benefit of success, joy and fulfilment.

3. Be Self Care Focussed – self care is about taking care of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.  It’s about having a responsible relationship with yourself, with the foods you eat, with daily movement, with putting yourself first.  It’s very difficult to be of service or value in the world, your family, your spouse, partner or others, if you’re constantly serving from a depleted or empty cup.  So, realise that self care is about taking care of you first for your own health and wellbeing, your own personal fulfilment, but also for the benefit of those you care about around you.

Take care of your body with good natural whole food nutrition, exercise your body every day, get out into the sunshine, into the ocean, into the forest (expose your mind and body to nature and the elements often for all of her enlightening and healing powers).  And realise that you only get one life, one mind, one body…and it’s up to you and you alone to take care of it.  This is what self care is all about and it is a vital key to fulfilment, joy and happiness.

4. Practice Your Passion – find something that lights you up, brings you joy , that gives you happy feet and do it often.  A lot people lose their passions as they get older because they lose the inner child within themselves, but this is a mistake.  The more sense of adventure and playfulness and exploration you have and the more you’re willing to continue to practice the activities, hobbies and passions that bring you joy, the more fulfilled and happy emotionally you will be.

People who follow their passions and make time for them as part of their life are known to live longer and happier.  And the great thing is YOU get to decide what it is – it could be riding your bike outdoors, painting, playing the guitar, singing, writing, travelling, cooking…you decide what it is that brings you joy and don’t lose site of it, practice it often.  And if you don’t know what your passion is, the secret is to experiment with different activities until you find it…and it’s never too late to start.

So again, life is journey where you’re meant to be happy and fulfilled even when things don’t go your way.  And that means that happiness and joy is an art that you need to continue to master if you want to be the best you throughout the course of your lifetime.

And for me, this starts with mastering the art of Gratitude, investing in quality relationships, self care and your passions.

I hope you got value from today’s message.  Thanks for reading!

ZT.